Resonant Constellation

I love the internet, it brings me entertainment in all forms, lets me maintain contact with friends far away, allows me to get news from around the world in a matter of seconds, and sometimes, just sometimes, it brings me links like this.

That’s right, the United States government is giving away a stealth ship.

Now, I have long dreamt of flying to Boston, commandeering the USS Constitution, and sailing to Somalia to combat pirates in the most awesome way possible (I have a whole crew lined up for this, including a pilot, a weapons officer, and an engineer), but I always discussed that as a joke. Now I can get a stealth ship FOR FREE. This changes everything.

The Sea Shadow (which I will have to rename to something suitable like The Millennium Falcon or Battlestar Oceanica or somesuch) is about 170 feet long (about 50 meters) holds a crew of twelve, and is capable of a top speed of 28 knots. It has special coatings, sharp angles, and the whole basic “Stealth Fighter” treatment to make it invisible to radar and sonar.

Okay, so it may not have been designed for combat, so what? I’m a creative guy, and I have a lot of creative friends (at least 11…) we will find a way. The upside of this all: it is a perfect secret lair from which a mad scientist might…RULE THE WORLD!

There are some wrinkles, however. I’d probably have to buy fuel which I’d assume is incredibly expensive. This could wreak havoc with my future instrument purchase budget and ability to discover new and exciting beers. The ship also comes with some sort of a deep sea mining barge used to house it which is effectively useless. Also, I currently live in Arizona and unless the San Andreas has a major earthquake, Arizona is not nearly close enough to the ocean to make regular trips in the stealth boat feasible. Ah, well. I can dream, can’t I?